' To see you here with me is a blessing
Here, you are sleeping beside me
Your pink swollen faces together was the most beautiful picture I may ever see
My prayer started from the day you took birth, little one!
Take care, take care, dear one; don't fret on my eccentricity
I am just your restless mommy!'
This is just the story of this mother who saw her twin babies sleeping peacefully on a tiny hospital baby bed near her. To see them near me and feel I have kept them for so long inside me was a moment of pride and happiness, and with it, was the birth of the prayer, "May they be safe", never knowing that this prayer will permanently get stuck in my mind forever!
Entering into the brand new phase of motherhood was a divine feeling. It felt as if suddenly I had gained new wisdom, new confidence, new maturity and of course a new look (a plump new me with swollen hands and feet)! In all the hustle and bustle of innumerous visitors coming to get a glance of the new born twin members of the family, I could only think of one thing, one mighty big thing, i.e. Sleep! The most amazing thing that happened was that I slept like I was sleepless for a century, without bothering, or more appropriately, without being able to get bothered, for the tiny little things sleeping, pooping and crying restlessly near me. I was tired, tired to the brim. Yes, that was it, the most amazing thing that might have happened to me, till date. From the moment I entered my home with the babies, till now, I simply can't think of any possibility of 'not' worrying about my children at any moment. With motherhood comes the magical power and the unique capacity of continuously handling a 'second self who is always worried'! How is it like to remain unattached to the random thoughts (not always good) that haunts your mind everytime, especially when your children are not near you? I never got that answer and I have given up on any possibility of finding one. But the most amazing thing is that we learn to live with it like a tree learns to live with a bee-hive clinging on to its branch like it has always been a part of it. We, the mothers, carry this burden, of unavoidable worries, like a basket attached to the head from the birth. That is God's divine programming I guess! Questions, big 'whys' and 'hows' haunt us day and night. Eating, pooping, playing, schooling, habits, health, activities and the endless list of topics worrying us can never be ignored at any cost. "I am a cool mother with little hangups and worries" is the most obvious lie anyone can resort to, to keep oneself balanced. But there is no need I guess. This is how we are programmed, biologically too.
What remains intact amidst all the worries is the 'pride'! The pride of being a mother, an individual with endless capacities and the most unique one at that is the power to understand, sometimes even without words. This restless mother is always there, even when she is not called!
Here, you are sleeping beside me
Your pink swollen faces together was the most beautiful picture I may ever see
My prayer started from the day you took birth, little one!
Take care, take care, dear one; don't fret on my eccentricity
I am just your restless mommy!'
This is just the story of this mother who saw her twin babies sleeping peacefully on a tiny hospital baby bed near her. To see them near me and feel I have kept them for so long inside me was a moment of pride and happiness, and with it, was the birth of the prayer, "May they be safe", never knowing that this prayer will permanently get stuck in my mind forever!
Entering into the brand new phase of motherhood was a divine feeling. It felt as if suddenly I had gained new wisdom, new confidence, new maturity and of course a new look (a plump new me with swollen hands and feet)! In all the hustle and bustle of innumerous visitors coming to get a glance of the new born twin members of the family, I could only think of one thing, one mighty big thing, i.e. Sleep! The most amazing thing that happened was that I slept like I was sleepless for a century, without bothering, or more appropriately, without being able to get bothered, for the tiny little things sleeping, pooping and crying restlessly near me. I was tired, tired to the brim. Yes, that was it, the most amazing thing that might have happened to me, till date. From the moment I entered my home with the babies, till now, I simply can't think of any possibility of 'not' worrying about my children at any moment. With motherhood comes the magical power and the unique capacity of continuously handling a 'second self who is always worried'! How is it like to remain unattached to the random thoughts (not always good) that haunts your mind everytime, especially when your children are not near you? I never got that answer and I have given up on any possibility of finding one. But the most amazing thing is that we learn to live with it like a tree learns to live with a bee-hive clinging on to its branch like it has always been a part of it. We, the mothers, carry this burden, of unavoidable worries, like a basket attached to the head from the birth. That is God's divine programming I guess! Questions, big 'whys' and 'hows' haunt us day and night. Eating, pooping, playing, schooling, habits, health, activities and the endless list of topics worrying us can never be ignored at any cost. "I am a cool mother with little hangups and worries" is the most obvious lie anyone can resort to, to keep oneself balanced. But there is no need I guess. This is how we are programmed, biologically too.
What remains intact amidst all the worries is the 'pride'! The pride of being a mother, an individual with endless capacities and the most unique one at that is the power to understand, sometimes even without words. This restless mother is always there, even when she is not called!
